My boyfriend and I moved two hundred miles away from our lives last fall. We moved for a better employment opportunity for him, and for a chance to achieve his dreams. We moved to better our futures.
It hasn't been easy. We moved away from all of our friends, and his family. We are both people that prefer the hustle and bustle of city life, and we now live in a small community of about 3,000 people.
On the other hand, it has shown us what we truly value in our lives. We always make time to visit family, and very specific friends. We have learned how important it is to show people that you care for them. That is why, at times like this one, it can be so very difficult for us emotionally.
His best friend works for his father at a small shop. We made arrangements two weeks ago for this friend to come up and stay with us over this weekend. Every thing was in place, and we worked incredibly hard to get our home, and our lives ready for him. We were to travel the two hundred miles on Thursday, and once was off work on Friday, we were going to pick him up and drive home.
Halfway through our journey, we decided to call him and make sure that everything was still in place and to see if he had finalized the timeline we set up for Friday afternoon. Instead, he informed us that he wouldn't be able to make it this weekend. Wow.
We are both reeling. This "friend" has an excuse time after time for why he can't make it out with us. We thought for sure we had done everything necessary for there to be no problems in this trip. My boyfriend is crushed, and is now questioning how meaningful their relationship ever was to the other person.
I am at a loss. I have no idea what to say to him, or how to comfort him when he is hurting. I wish I had all the answers, because witnessing this is difficult enough. I feel totally helpless. Any advice?
Friday, March 23, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Dys"fun"ctional...
Thinking about dysfunctional vs. functional families this week really made me think about The Glass Castle.
I've read the book, and to be honest, I was shocked at how the author's parents allowed their children to be raised. Growing up, my family and I didn't always have the best of everything. We weren't poor, by any means, but things weren't necessarily easy either.
Thinking about dysfunction makes me think about the fact that I have two sisters. We are all 4-5 years apart in age, and couldn't be more different from each other as far as our personalities are concerned. We fought. We fought a lot growing up. Not physically, but mostly verbally and emotionally. Things were quite tense at times, and my mother never really knew what to do with us when the fighting would start.
After things would calm down, we would all joke that we put the "fun" in "dysfunctional". My sisters and I also termed our relationships with each other as "bipolar sisterly love". Meaning one minute we're fine, then things are volatile, and eventually things are fine again. We have our highs, and our lows - but no matter what, we love each other.
I think that was the one thing that struck me the most about the book. How much the author and her siblings never ceased to love their parents regardless of how they were treated. I hope to one day have an unconditional love like that with children of my own - but I know for a fact that we won't be living like the Wall's family did in that book!
I've read the book, and to be honest, I was shocked at how the author's parents allowed their children to be raised. Growing up, my family and I didn't always have the best of everything. We weren't poor, by any means, but things weren't necessarily easy either.
Thinking about dysfunction makes me think about the fact that I have two sisters. We are all 4-5 years apart in age, and couldn't be more different from each other as far as our personalities are concerned. We fought. We fought a lot growing up. Not physically, but mostly verbally and emotionally. Things were quite tense at times, and my mother never really knew what to do with us when the fighting would start.
After things would calm down, we would all joke that we put the "fun" in "dysfunctional". My sisters and I also termed our relationships with each other as "bipolar sisterly love". Meaning one minute we're fine, then things are volatile, and eventually things are fine again. We have our highs, and our lows - but no matter what, we love each other.
I think that was the one thing that struck me the most about the book. How much the author and her siblings never ceased to love their parents regardless of how they were treated. I hope to one day have an unconditional love like that with children of my own - but I know for a fact that we won't be living like the Wall's family did in that book!
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